Kandhar Anubhuti : Verse #31 - The Union of Self with Supreme cannot be expressed in words! (paazh vaazvu)

பாழ்வாழ்வு எனும் இப் படுமாயையிலே 

வீழ்வாய் என என்னை விதித்தனையே 

தாழ்வானவை செய்தன தாம் உளவோ? 

வாழ்வாய் இனி நீ மயில் வாகனனே (31)

paazvaazhvu enum ip padu maayayile

veezhvaai ena ennai vidhiththanaiye!

thaazhvanavai seithana thaam ulavo?

vaazhvaai ini nee mayil vaaganane (31)

பாழ்வாழ்வு எனும் - Miserable life

இப் படுமாயையிலே - This deluge of Samsara

வீழ்வாய் என - To fall

என்னை - Me

விதித்தனையே - You ordained 

தாழ்வானவை - Sins

செய்தன தாம் உளவோ? Do I have them in store?

வாழ்வாய் இனி நீ - May you live long!

மயில் வாகனனே - One who rides the peacock

Short Meaning

Dear Lord Subrahmanya, who rides a peacock! You ordained me  to fall into this delusional and miserable cycle of life! Is this because of the sins that I had done in my past lives? May you live long! 

Gloss

This verse has a striking similarity to Verse 29. In this verse, again, Sri Arunagiri complains to Lord Subrahmanya that He had ordained (விதித்தனையே) him to fall (வீழ்வாய்) in this rotten life (பாழ்வாழ்வு). 

In His amazing work of Moha Mudgaram (also famously referred to as Bhaja Govindam), Sri Adi Sankara calls this life of repeated birth and death (samsara) is 'VERY painful' (bahu dustare!) - This verse also shares the helplessness of the soul which has to undergo this repeated birth and death cycles

The karma of a soul can be categorized into three buckets:

1. Sanchita Karma - This is the total unspent Karma (good and bad) of a soul - 
2. Prarabda Karma - The portion of Sanchita Karma (which is too huge) that is allocated for this birth
3. Agami Karma - The Karma that is generated this birth

Till the entire collection of Sanchita Karma is burnt, a soul will not be liberated from the endless cycle of birth and death. 

The only way to burn the infinitely large collection of Sanchita Karma is by Knowledge of the Self - Unless this happens, the samsara cycle will continue. Sri Arunagiri hence asks Lord Murugan if he has lots of bad Karma left due to which he is born again as human. 

In the end, he sarcastically says 'May you live long' (வாழ்வாய் இனி நீ)- This is because, he feels He could be saved by Lord Murugan's Grace, but the Lord is not intervening and hence causing his pains to continue. He invokes the Form of Murugan as the One who rides the peacock (மயில் வாகனனே)